After the storm, I headed outside and was welcomed by the wind and shy sun rays of an autumn morning that carried eagerness to reach me and lend me warmth and courage. In my hands, a marker and an empty poster. As my steps blindly swallowed the streets, brains in theta, I set out to look for a building downtown and use its wall to pin my message on.
“To the Forgotten”, I started.
“To those feeling themselves fade away and being erased from the world;
To those who have had to remove poisonous blades and swords;
From their chest.
To the rejected, to the isolated;
To the prisoners of the land of the depressed.
I, too, have been forgotten. But today I’m taking a step forward to reach the souls that no longer feel themselves exist in anything other than pain, despair or numbness…to give you and I a piece of memory; the oxygen to keep the little flame of life alive. To keep it upright and refuel it with the potential to burn ever more beautifully and stronger. An attempt at a new life, by bravely letting go of the grip of the past and the suffering.
I, too, feel weakness in the knees when I stand. I, too, have given away my power and been robbed of every last coin of love and dignity in my pockets.
I, too, have wanted to give in to the swallowing exit of no-return and get swayed.
I, too, have tried very hard.
But the reason I’ve taken a step outside to reach out to you is that I have realised one thing. I remembered my nature before I was given a taste of what’s corrupted me into despair. Before falling victim to abandonment, abuse, betrayals and lies. I once was a child and the master of my dream realm. This memory lit before my eyes like a candle with a flame dancing in graceful focus. Back then, my understanding of the world had not yet matured but I understood every detail of the realm of my dreams. The essence of the latter integrates heart beats as the the gap between each beat; as the gap between each breath I sometimes took with effort but consistently. I am alive today not because I have not yet left. But because my soul has not finished composing its symphony. Today I am an adult…on the verge of fading from existence and in pitiful ignorance of the master I have been sheltering within for all these years. Today I am an adult in servitude of others, as I handed my power over to them to orchestrate my value with their behavior towards me. My self worth has danced before me like a volatile FOREX graph. And instead of riding the waves of the oceans of the dreams I should weave, I’d ended up needlessly riding rollercoasters of emotions that I held before my eyes like a bible of reason and the truth about who I was. Today, I realise I can reascend to my real position and power. I am a master of my very own self.
I have figured out that, when I walk in the snow or the sand, my feet are welcomed by the ground which carves into prints in acceptance of my being.
I have learned that when I consciously observe and support my breaths into depth and length, I partake in the vibrations of the Universe. To those, who don’t believe in something bigger than themselves, there still is bigger, and that bigger thing is yourself. For, in reality, You are endless. For in reality, as long you have your own eyes to see yourself, you still exist. For in reality, when you realise this awareness, the utility and impact of the observation of Yourself, you claim your power back and come to terms with the sufficiency of you being your only master.
I have learned that below the ceiling of bitterness that covers my prison, there’s a well of love pushing and leaking through. I have felt a connection to many others who like me are on the brink of vanishing, as everything they’ve known and cherished got lost, with nothing more left to lose.
To the Forgotten, here’s to us remembering ourselves and with a grant of Love that’s always deserved. To the Forgotten, let me remind you that there’s no worthiness to be had to walk in the reception of Love. To the Forgotten I am reaching and calling out that yes, we can vanish… not from existence but from the grip of every entity outside of ourselves into which we have exported our hearts. Let’s disappear from the places that no longer and never have served us to reappear in the realms of our dreams of which we are the masters. Home. Let’s rewrite our lives and learn how to enjoy them again.
To the Forgotten, I would like to tell in assurance that you are not forgotten as long as I am there to remember you. As long as my voice rings along with yours. We may have been struck by events that left us in agony but it should not be a life sentence. With little steps, we can rebound no matter how long it takes”, I stroked on the blank poster like a painter.
As I finished writing my message and sticking the poster to the wall, I welcomed the tears welled from my eyes, and the gentle trembling that overtook my body. With relief and a quiet joy, I turned away and let myself get lost in the crowd in the rumbling streets that from that day on no longer made me anxious.
