Anywhere but here.
Back pain…my spine is tense and torn between all gravitational forces. An impending explosion. I feel hungry all the time…no, my mouth feels lonely once silence settles and my mind starts flickering and twitching. Agitation. So anything which engages my taste buds in pleasurable ways is more than welcome.
Notifications. Send me something. Distract me. I want to move and stride and strut and distance myself from whatever’s causing this inner unrest.
Let’s do some mindful breathing to provoke at least one victory over the haunting temptation of the current hour before the next strikes and I’m faced with another eruption of… — What is it that I do when I feel the urge to flee again? At first, I manage to trick myself into focus on the tasks ahead of me. Things flow for a bit, then this odd silence settles and maybe one difficulty arises. Or rather, one thought occurs and deports my mind to places I’m being called to and that I shouldn’t show up at for now. And there you have it: a trigger to pick up the phone, to open a new browser tab or check for new e-mails that have certainly not come in since I would have otherwise received notifications for them. But we check just be sure…or anywhere but here.
- © MFA. 2023
